


McNab Dinner

by csmickey, knightmareframe



Category: Psych
Genre: its so cracky and bad i m sorry, my brother and i co-wrote it at 11pm and, pls don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-12 21:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4495728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csmickey/pseuds/csmickey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightmareframe/pseuds/knightmareframe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Inspired by "JERRY DINNER!" on Parks and Rec) Juliet suggests that Carlton put a dollar in a jar everytime he's rude to McNab. At the end of the year, they'll take him out to a nice dinner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Put A Dollar In A Jar

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry, I don't know what this is. This is ridiculous, and I honestly don't know what's gonna happen with it. I know there'll be at least one more chapter, which'll actually be "McNab Dinner" and it's gonna be terrible, and I'm sorry. This isn't like an official story or anything, it's just something crappy my brother and I typed up at 11 PM.

“McNab, coffee!” Lassiter barked, making whistling noises to call McNab to his desk, where he sat, eating a bear claw that O’Hara had bought him, along with her own breakfast of a couple of churros.

“Lassiter, don’t yell.” She retorted, taking a bite from her churro.

“O’Hara, butt out.” Juliet rolled her eyes, frustrated with Lassiter’s response.

“Hello, detectives. Did you call for me?”  McNab said, rounding the corner to Lassiter’s desk.

“Yes, get me a cup of coffee. Now.” Lassiter growled.

“On the double, detective.”

“Lassiter, you should treat him better.”

“O’Hara, butt out. I wouldn’t have to yell after him if _somebody_  had bought coffee with breakfast.”

“Well, maybe if _somebody_ would buy breakfast every once in a while, I'd buy him coffee. I’ll butt out of your business when you start treating McNab like a human being instead of an intern.”

“I’m sorry, detective, are you saying that interns aren’t human? Because I just, um… my cousin’s got this internship goin’ on, and that’s very important. I just don’t think they’re not human. That’s all.” McNab said disappointedly at O’Hara, a frown encompassing his face.

“Um, no…” O’Hara contemplated it for a second. “Well, yes, I guess.”

“Well, you’re right. They’re not human. They’re basically just there for labor.” Lassiter said, gesturing for McNab to scram and get him his damn coffee. McNab immediately ran away, towards the coffee machine.

“You really should lighten up on teasing McNab. He’s a person!” O’Hara raised her hands up in exasperation.

“But he’s a _lower_ person. Less important.” Lassiter sorted through the paperwork on his desk absentmindedly. “I take him to lunch once a month. That counts for something.”

“Not enough. Tell you what, take…” She emptied out the jar she kept her pencils in. “this. Put a dollar in it every time you’re rude to McNab. At the end of the year, McNab and I will go out to dinner with the money.”

“Not fair. I don’t get to go? It’s still my money.”

“Fine, fine. You, me and McNab. It’ll be fancy. 365 days from now. I imagine you’ll have more than a dollar a day. It’ll be great. Don’t dress like… that.”

"These are my work clothes. I'll wear my civvies." Lassiter looked insulted that she'd even suggest he'd wear this suit.

"Your civvies _are_ your work clothes." O'Hara looked at the clothes he was wearing and nodded.

"They're not! I wear my loafers. They're a casual gentleman's shoe... I'm gonna go check on my coffee." He muttered to himself, standing up and wandering towards the coffee machine that McNab was standing by. 


	2. garder sneeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an aqua marine bonds with the our crew one the fateful night of THE mcnab dinner!!! (set 365 days after chapter 1. this is important. it is a plot thing.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe it was Charles Darwin who said, “Yo i think it's time for McNab Dinner II y’all get on that.” Literally everybody else in the world said “No, why would you do that, why would you subject anybody to this mess again?” and to that we said………………. “We doz what we wantz to, trick”.

I believe it was Charles Darwin who said, “Yo i think it's time for McNab Dinner II y’all get on that.” Literally everybody else in the world said “No, why would you do that, why would you subject anybody to this mess again?” and to that we said………………. “We doz what we wantz to, trick”.

 

Lights up on a verv very fancy restaurant.

 

“Hey, lassy, why did the lights go down?” Juliet O’Hara, his beautiful, extravagant, entirely necessary, majestic partner in crime fighting inquires to his grumpy, grumpy face. He responded with a grunt, cause how the hell would he know? 

 

“How the hell would I know?” He grumpily asked.

 

“Robber.” McNab.

“Go fish.” Lasiter.

The Mater D’ stands up, in a fake wig and mustache. He walks over to the table the three sit at, playing go fsh, and asks, 

“A well Howdy, Wada ya like to eta todAy?”

 

“Bullets.” Lassiter laughs. He’s the only one to laugh. It’s sad.

 

The Matre Dee is surprised at the lack of laughter. Everything is funny. “Oh a boy do yousa see that there man suspiciously in a black ski mask that nobody’s’a acknowledge?”

 

“Has anybody seen our resident psychic shawn spencer recently? He has mysteriously not been around but I keep seeing this vaguely italian vaguely swedish Mayter Dee everywhere I go?” McNab looks confused. It’s sad because everybody loves McNab and when is sad, I am sad.

 

“Lassy, where is shawn? He hasn’t pestered us on a case in nearly 365 days!”

 

“A- Amaybe he wasa tryina to avoid putun andy money into a seciala jar meant for takinina cowrker toa dinnera” said the Martyr G, bearing a slight resemblance to J̶a̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶d̶a̶y̶  Ryan Gosling.

 

“Holy shit. Understandable.” mCnAB SAYS, KIND OF DISAPPOINTED THAT sHAWN DOESN’T WANNA TREAT HIM WELL.

 

“Hey, guys, remember the robber, with the gun? Yeah, that guy. We’re cops.”

 

“Not tonight, tonight we’re just friends hanging out buddy, and that's what's important.” Lassy fibbed.

 

“Tonight we’re-a friends who-a love mcnab. Even me, A-the mamert day whomst has no relation to yousa guys.” said the Momther Drink.

 

McNab blushed. “Oh, well, i’m flattered, my guys. But uh, he’s got a  _ gun _ .”

O’Hare-eh had already tackled and arrested the robber by the time mcnab was finished with his sentence. She took off his robber mask to reveal..,.,,.,,,,,,......,.,.,.,..,,. Guss???

 

“Oh-a my, is that a burton guston???? I don’t know him!!!!”

 

“God damn it Shawn, the jig is up. Hang up your jig doing shoes, cause it's up!” The mammary takes off his curly wig and handlebar mustache to reveal…,.,.,...,.,..,,,,,.,...,.,.,.,., Shawn????

 

To be continued……………..


End file.
